The Johnson Family Grows

Do you remember how in this post, I mentioned that Chris and I would be adding to our family very soon?  (It's at the very bottom.  Very small.)  Well, it's happening!  :-)


I've wanted a baby since I was a baby.  They're so wonderful.  Tiny, little miracles.  How on earth can something so small be so wonderful?!  Well, hormones have a lot to do with it.  Also, the weird invisible connection mothers have to their children.  Honestly, babies look like weird little aliens... Wonderful, fantastic, amazing, stinky little aliens!  And then they grow into children.

I respect children so much because of their constant honesty.  You always know they're being honest when they tell you how great you look wearing your leather bomber jacket, skinny jeans, or ankle boots... because they have no problem telling you how awful you look when you're wearing dress clothes with sneakers, pajamas as day wear, fleece, and/or fanny pack, and sporting butt cleavage, visible pantylines, and/or mullets***.  Kids really do say the darndest things!

Unfortunately, Chris and I are not quite ready to have any little Jr.'s running around quite yet.  False.  CHRIS is not ready yet.  ;-)  But it's a decision we've made together to wait for the time being.  However, Chris is never home, and I get so lonely.  We took in Chris's sister's dog to help deal with this, but we had to give her back because Caylee missed her baby.  Now I'm back to square one.

After a lot of research and calculations, we've decided to bring in a love of our own!  One week from today, I will be bringing home a beautiful baby Shihpoo.  That's a mix between a Shih Tzu and a Poodle.  (My brother and sis-in-law have a Shih Tzu that I absolutely love, but they're hard to train.  With a poodle's brian, Shihpoos are much easier to house train.)  

Our little Emmi.  We love her.

I'm going on a road trip with a friend to pick up our little baby.  Chris has to work and attend school, so he won't be able to join me.  :-(  I'm so very, very excited!  This little girl will LITERALLY be my child.  I will take her on errands with me. I will let her snuggle with me in bed.  I will be bathing and feeding her.  I will clean up her poo until she understand the "toilet" concept, and I will love her uncontrollably.  I already love her. 

I look at the pictures I have of her every single day.  I want to spoil her and snuggle her and play.  I know I won't enjoy taking her to the bathroom every fifteen minutes, but her bladder will grow strong she will learn quickly.  She.  Will.  Learn.

*** The fashion tips in today's edition of The Johnson's Junk is dedicated to Miss Marylou by special request, but you may take it as your own.  I googled those tidbits.  Clearly, I'm not much of a fashionista.  I wore every single one of those awful items today at the same time.  This picture is of me yesterday, in fact.  Good luck.

Behold Your Little Ones

At the beginning of the New Year (Rather, at the end of last year- December 30.), Chris had visitor ( I remember this because I just happened to be cleaning, and I was SO embarrassed that there were piles of folded laundry everywhere and junk all over the table.  Dang.).  Brother Windsor from our ward who is in the Sunday School Presidency (his wife is also my visiting teaching companion- what a great family!).  

Chris got a new calling (voluntary assignment)- or rather a new age group of minions to teach- and he was a little sad.  He was really liking his 16-year-old kiddos.  He was just getting how to keep them engaged in the conversation and on topic during the lesson.  Now he has the kids turning 13 this year- a major difference.

Turns out Chris loves his class. There are only three kids in his class, all boys.  They were great in conversation- very intelligent.  They went six minutes over, and didn't even make it through their lesson because the guys were asking such amazing questions.  Chris is pretty happy.

I'm in Nursery (kiddos 18 months to 3 years).  I love it.  Every single week.  But with the new year, I lost the Nursery Leader to an older Primary class and half of my kids to Sunbeams.  Sure, I'm happy for them.  Or something.  I'm not selfish... I just don't want them to be happy without me!  One little boy named Matt still comes to the door after Sunbeams and shows me what he did that day.  

"Um, excuse me.", he says because he doesn't remember my name- just that I was his teacher, "Look what I did.  That's Jesus, and that's me, and that's my sister, and that's our house."  Makes my day better.

I love my class to pieces still!  They are so wonderful, but why forget the good times?  I wrote in my journal every single cute thing I heard in the four months I was there in 2011, and now, I'm going to share those with you.  You've earned it.  I'm sure.

Brook:  I'm still coloring.
Me:  That's alright.  You can take your time.
Brooke:  Well, I actually think my sister would like to color it.  I'll take it home and share it with her.  I'm going to play now.

Gretchen (Asking the class):  "What are you going to do on Thanksgiving?"

Matt :  "Watch the BYU game!!!"


Jonathon (Snappily):  I have a question!
Gretchen:  Okay, Jonathon.  What is your question?
Jonathon (Snappily):  I don't.  Know!  (And then he runs away happily to play!)


Me:  What are you doing over here, Bud?
James:  Hiding from you.  Go away.

Me: "Jonathon, do we push our friends?"

Jonathon (Calmly Declaring):  "He's not my friend."


Sister Hansen:  Can we sing one more?
Jimmy Jo:  No!  Okay... but then no more!
(After the song, Sister Hansen tries to leave)
Jimmy Jo:  Don't go!  We have to sing another one!


Me:  Does anyone have an extra truck to share with Jonathon?
Adulus:  I have some!
(Not moving...)
Me:  Well would you like to share your trucks with Jonathon?
Adulus:  Oh!  No... He has some.
Me:  No he doesn't.  He's looking for one to play with.
Jonathon:  I have some.  I was hiding them.  

Holy goodness!  They are so wonderfully cute.  I wish text did their cuteness justice.  I wish you could see these kids in action.  I wish I could just put up a video of my favorite two hours of the week.  I wish I could just see these kids at home.  I wish YOU could see these kids at home (but that would be really weird unless you know them...).  These kids are so clever, and honest, and so refreshing!

Also, these are literally the type of lesson we have every week.  Trying to get the kids to sit down and listen at the same time seems like herding cats.  When they are all sitting and listening though, I'm blown away by the knowledge they retain.  They have the answers to every question every time.  Clearly, the kids in my class are being taught at home and have amazing, loving parents.  Blows.  My.  Mind.

"Hello, Mr. Heartache. I've been expecting you..."

I'm sorry to announce that Winter is finally upon us.  That ground hog has NOTHING on my Winter-sensing skills.  I know what you're thinking: "Winter started December 22."  (If you weren't thinking that... then you're a liar.)  I'm going to tell you that you're wrong.  The calendars are wrong.  Science and precise calculations are wrong.

Every single winter for as long as I can remember, I've gotten a sickness that will last the entire Winter.  It just starts suddenly one day, and ends suddenly three months later.  It's not contagious and I rarely have a fever; I wake up every single night (BEFORE I've had a full eight hours of sleep) with a clogged nostril, and a sore throat from trying to breath through my mouth.  I LOVE sleeping, but during these hard times, I will stay up as long as possible just to avoid the hassle of trying to de-congest myself.

Being a vocal music major for an entire year was very difficult- half of the year, my throat was so dry that I could never sing the full range I was expected to.  I was basically told I had to fix the issue or I would be kicked out of the Music School (I know what you're thinking: "Rude.  It's not like Alli had any control over this!  I'm sure she tried emergenC, and chugging water.  I'm positive she purchased an expensive humidifier to help keep her vocal chords moist!  UNC was being unfair!"  You're right.  It was out of my hands, but they had a point.  How could I do this for the rest of my life if I'm really only able to do it for HALF of the rest of my life?!)  I HAD to figure out what was wrong with me, and fast!

In my freshman year of school, I spent a lot of money, and went to a lot of doctors to figure out just what was wrong.  I was tested for bacteria that may just be growing in the cold.  Nothing.  My sinuses were check for misshapenness (it's a word).  Nothing.  I was checked for allergies.  Three times.  Nothing.  Not a single person had a cure for me (which is why I'm no longer studying Music Education and UNC).  I've thrown in the towel.  I will never get better, so I might as well just push through the harsh winter months.

Two nights ago, as I was sleeping, I was woken suddenly at 5:30.  The flood gates were open.  My nose was suddenly uncontrollably runny, but so clogged I couldn't blow at the same time.  This is literally my least favorite feelings ever.  Give me cramps.  Give me cold feet.  Touch my neck!  I don't care!  Just don't let my nose be one big contradiction!  

Last night, I put an ice cube in my mouth to sooth my sore throat, sprayed my nose (which I'm very cautious about!), and laid perfectly still on my back.  At 6 o'clock, I got up.  Still able to breath out of BOTH nostrils!  Ahh!  Relief!  This will happen two more times this Winter.  I'm never lucky enough to have it happen more often.

I hate winter.  Part of it is the cold.  Most of it is this sickness I'm dealing with.  My whole life.  This is what I'll be dealing with all winter; I'm not okay with this, but I'll get through it.  I've gotten through it at least.... eighteen times.  (I don't remember much before eighteen years ago...)

I'll let you know when Spring is upon us.

Changes are a Timing...

One year's over and another begins.  Last year ended with a bang.

I quit my job for so many reasons I can't even list them all (I found out there's a limit to how much you can blog.).  I got my hair done.  Finally.  Yeah, that alone could have made my entire year fantastic.  I set up an interview for a new job, but for the past few weeks, I've just had a lot of time to clean and exercise and just play!  (Then why the stink haven't I updated this bad boy?  Pure laziness.  Believe it or not, running around Fort Collins in the freezing cold is a lot easier than trying to share my life with everyone.  Turns out my incredible life is really only interesting to myself.)

Chris is, well, Chris.  I feel like that should be a synonym for so many great adjectives.  I think I might start calling everything wonderful in life Chris.  Starting after this blog, because chances are that habits going to take a little while to develop.  That man actually did a lot more this year than be amazing.

He got married for eternity.  ETERNITY.  (No pressure.)  I feel like that was a pretty great decision.  He went through an entire semester of schooling with a ridiculous schedule. He was never home, and when he was,he was usually sleeping, and who can blame him?  Well all that hard work paid off- we can pay our bills, and he finished his school year with phenomenal grades.  I'm almost positive that he studied only the day of each final.  And it worked really well for him.

Not only did he end the year with great grades, but he also had ANOTHER birthday this year.  He has one EVERY SINGLE YEAR.  What a lucky guy he is!  He turned 25 on December 24, 2011.  Chris got a Kindle Fire, which I know he wanted, but I've only seen him use it twice. This is how I know he's been very, very busy, even though he's supposed to be on Winter Break from school.  Bummer.  (He worked approximately 168 hours a week for the past couple weeks.) 

Also, Christmas happened, so that was obviously a pretty major part of ending the year.  By far, my favorite part of the year.  For so many reasons.

This Christmas was different because I didn't spend it with my family.  We spent this year with Chris's family.  It was a lot of fun to see everyone and catch up, but it was soo FULL.  I'm used to lounging around in pj's and playing games and watching movies all day.  Best ever.  But I had real clothes on this year.  Real clothes.  And makeup.  The sacrifices I've made for love.  (I don't have a lot of room to talk.  It would seem that sacrifice is all that Chris does for me.)

Ringing in the New Year brings changes.  I didn't officially set any resolutions, but I certainly have a few goals I'd like to accomplish.  "How can you accomplish a goal that isn't really set?", you ask.  I'm Mormon.  I  just.  Can.

This year, I will be reading (and completing) at least one book every month.  Chris and I save $11 a week on insurance if we work out three times a week and record it on a specific website through his work, so not only will we be taking care of our bodies, we'll be held accountable by this website, and we'll be saving money (not a TON, but that's $44 a month!  Totally adds up.). 

Chris has three more semesters of school left, and has worked it out so that he'll be able to continue to work full time at night AND still have time to sleep somewhere in there.  He's so smart, and such a hard worker!  That's his resolution.  Keep a roof over our head.  :-)  He is also doing a great job accumulating backpacking gear, so.... looks like we're going to be good friends with nature this summer.  Yay.

We will also be adding to our family this year.  Very soon.

That's right.  I said it.  It's out.

Yeah... Chris and I have a pretty great year ahead of us.

My New Friend

Chris works.  A lot.  I'm so grateful; we can pay our bills, and we don't stress out about them in the meantime.  I'm so lonely; when I'm at home, Chris is asleep, or he's not there.  Welcome to the gist of my life.  I love my life, but I miss people.

Chris's little sister, Caylee, is brilliant.  (Turns out, I married into a pretty smart family.)  She just graduated from CSU with a degree in Mechanical Engineering, and is working for Raytheon in California.  Caylee has a cute dog named Lexi.  Long story short: Chris and I have Lexi for the time being because Caylee has a hard time taking care of Lexi because travels to and from California and Colorado a lot.

Lexi keeps me company, and she's pretty funny.  She loves to snuggle me at night, and she's great at taking Chris's spot in bed when he's home.  I guess you'd have to be here to think it's funny... but please stay out of my bedroom while I'm sleeping.  This will just have to remain a lame story to you.  

Lexi squeezed herself behind that chair, and then realized she was stuck.  She stayed there for a while.  Chris and I thought this was particularly funny.

I like my new friend.  I think I shall keep her around.  Probably forever.

I don't see Chris as often as I'd like to, so every now and then, I go all out.  I pulled out our Fondue pot, and I looked up a couple good recipes for some delicious fondues.  I made a Spinach & Garlic Cheese dip, and I had about 7,000 dippers to go with it because we had never tried this before and wanted to test the waters.  We have since eaten this very meal twice.  (I needed to surprise Chris, and the desert and the baked potatoes took longer than I anticipated, so I forgot place mats, napkins, etc.  Who cares?  Chris only cared about the food anyway!)

"Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday." -Don Marquis

From the moment Chris and I were married, I felt my social life ripped out of my tiny little hands (I can't help having little hands...).  I'm constantly whining to my hubs about how I never have time to do anything, and even if I did have time, I have nobody to do anything with.  The ladies in my ward, although absolutely fantastic and very welcoming and warm-hearted, are a bit older than me, have kids/grandkids, and are pretty well settled in their lives; we often run out of things to talk about soon after we've started. My work schedule is inconsistent and I often have to go in at a moments notice (I got a promotion.  Don't tell anyone.), so it's difficult to make plans very far in advance.  And so on, and so on.  Reason after reason.  Excuse after excuse.

Who am I to think I'm the FIRST woman in America to have to make changes in life with marriage?  What?  Nobody else feels lonely from time to time?  False.

Not only am I not the only person to have this issue, I also have a fairly decent social life.  The moments that I am doing something awesome are often over shadowed by the many times I'm at home by myself watching Desperate Housewives... yeah, because I'm THAT girl.  I need to just snap out of the funk I've been in and count my blessings.  Clearly, I've been busy because I haven't posted a cotton pickin' thing in
FOR--EV--OR.

Because I don't want to leave anyone in the dark, but I also 100% don't want to spend 10,000 hours catching everything up, here's just a bunch of pictures with a tiny little bit of description.  Get ready; there's a lot...

I went to my sis-in-law's FIRST Roller Derby bout where  she was voted the "Belle of the Ball" because she's just so stinkin' beautiful.  So beautiful.

Megh went through the Temple for the first time, but I didn't get the chance to go with her because I had to work, so we had a little sister Girl's night at Applebee's where we laughed until we almost wet our pants, and we had super amounts of fun with our server because that's what we do when we get together- our "Mob Mentality" just makes us very happy.  (Megh on the left and Mo on the right.)

I just freakin' love this picture because it looks like Mo has no teeth!  I'm not a fan of Lord of the Rings, but she seems to have a striking resemblance to Smeagol.  So great.  I cried a little from laughing.  Maybe there was even pee involved.

I had a shopping day with my little brother and sister because we all had a day off.  My little brother, Matti (but only I can call him that.  His name is Matthew or Matt.) is an expert planker.  That was on a two inch wall in a dressing room.  And he stayed there for a surprising amount of time considering I cannot imagine how comfortable that could be...

If we're being honest here, I'm trying to get the cutest stinkin' boy in the world to plank... But he hates "tummy time", so he doesn't stay there very long.  

This little guy LOVES to just crawl back and forth on my little ol' coffee table.  He's not great at being filmed without noticing, so this is the best I could get, but it is literally the best thing I've ever seen.  It's now also the best thing YOU'VE ever seen.  Don't try to deny it.

Our Halloween front porch at night.  We had a smoke machine and a strobe light and old manican heads.  We won our complex's contest!  We got a gift card to Target.  Victory!

My cute stinkin' hubs on our porch after we were done decorating.  We found a black widow while we were decorating!  Chris HATES spiders, so I had to destroy it on my own, but how scary is that?!

I had a free Saturday night, so I called up my friend, Marylou, who I haven't seen in too long, and I asked her what the heck we were going to be doing because Chris had to work and I needed a girls' night.  I can't even tell you how AMAZING that night was.  We went to a Church Single's dance for a little bit (I let all the guy's know I'm married though, so it wasn't a big deal.), we went to a club on Latin night- so we didn't stay long- and we just caught up on life.  I am blown away by the strength Marylou has, and the incredible things she has already accomplished in her life.  I could go on and on forever about how great she is, but the easiest way to sum it all up: Role Model.  Think of the best woman in the existence of EVERYTHING, and multiply her by 38,933,581,383,072,695,637,001 and you pretty much have half of Marylou.  (So from there, you'll need to go ahead and multiply your product by 2.)

I don't know this man.  He was at the dance, and it was the best thing I've ever seen .  So I stopped him and asked him if I could take a picture of him.  And then I sent it straight to Chris so he could be in on the fun.

Matti and I after his play.  He was Dr. Frankenstein with a weird twist.

My friend Charley from work went with me because Chris had to work.  And then our evening was followed by a night on the town in Denver.  Top night.

 This is a tiny little snip of one of Matti's scenes.  There will be more once I put them on my computer fully.


I'm sorry; this one was probably the least entertaining thing you've read all month (I would say year, but I know there are some pretty dreadful things out there, and I know I can't be THAT bad...), but it's late o' clock at night, and the creative/ humorous part of my brain went to bed four hours ago.

My Husband is Better Than Your Husband (I can prove it. I took a poll.)

I've taken a recent poll, and all of my husbands agree that Chris is the best husband I have.

We have date night on the weirdest nights of the week because my cutie husband works on the weekends for the next couple weeks.  I love it because we don't have to deal with lines or busy restaurants.  Last week, date night was Thursday; we went to IKEA (I've heard it's the hottest place for LDS couples) and Cheesecake Factory.  Perfect.  Just perfect.  We didn't have to worry about IKEA being crowded.  We didn't have to worry about waiting for a table at Cheesecake Factory.  I didn't even have to do anything- Chris made the plans, and I just got to relax and go along for the ride!

Last night (Wednesday), Chris and I had a marvelous date night.  We started out at Red Robin, and then we headed on over to Arc for some Halloween shopping!  (Followed by Goodwill, the mall, and Walmart because we just couldn't make it all happen in one place.)  We got all sorts of fun stuff to decorate our porch with for our apartment complex's contest!  (We're very competitive people.  I love to decorate for everything.  Also, the first prize is $100 off of rent... sooo.... How could we NOT enter?!)

I bet you're wondering what happened to that great job I started.  I am kickin' butt at my new job... and it's already starting to catch up with me.  I have been so busy (as you loyal readers could tell; I have haven't posted in almost a month).  My numbers are top in my store, and I'm really starting to get to know my customers, so the days, although  l o n g  sometimes, are getting more enjoyable.  There are days, though, when I have to call Chris and have him reassure me that I'm doing okay and that I can do my job, but someday I'll really get the hand of things, and then I'll be okay.  You know how new jobs can be... (or maybe I'm the ONLY woman in America who has melt downs because she just feels like she can't do ANYTHING right...)

So, a few days ago, I came home from one of THOSE days, and I was tired, and I was grumpy, and I had a meeting that night with my District Manager, and I had to clean the house still, and all I wanted to do was take a nap, and then I walked in the door... to a SPOTLESS house.  Bed made, dishes done, table cleared of that pile of mail and misc. papers that have nowhere else to go- you know that pile; everyone has one- and laundry taken out of the dryer and folded (I'm particular about how clothes are put away, so for him to stop at that was PERFECT!).

See what I mean?!  Christopher is the best.  The.  Best.


He just can't help it.